YOU DON’T COMPLETE ME: MARRIAGE

March 2, 2025

INTRODUCTION

• “The greatest analogy of the Gospel in the N.T. is marriage. There is NO area of your life where God wants to redeem and work through more than your marriage.” – Josh Howerton
• Big Idea: “Marriage isn’t a human invention. It’s God’s design. And just like you need IKEA’s instructions to put their furniture together, if we follow His design, we can experience marriage the way it was meant to be.”

3 KEYS TO A HEALTHY GOD-HONORING MARRIAGE

1️⃣ MARRIAGE THRIVES AS A LIFELONG COVENANT, NOT A TEMPORARY CONTRACT

[Matthew 19:6 NLT] “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

Covenants are built on:

• Commitment — “I will, even when you don’t.”
• Partnership — “I’ve got your back.”
• Endurance — “I am in it for the long haul.”
• Forgiveness — “I will not hold this against you.”

Contracts are built on:

• Performance — “I’ll love you as long as you do your part.”
• Transactions — “I will give you this for that.”
• Termination Clauses — “If this doesn’t work, we can always walk away.”

[Genesis 2:24 NLT] “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”

• “God’s design is till death do us part, not till difficulty do us part.”

2️⃣ MARRIAGE THRIVES WITH SERVING, NOT SELFISHNESS

• “Just as God’s covenant with us isn’t about what He can get from us but what He gives to us, our marriages flourish when we focus less on what we can receive and more on what we can give.”

[Ephesians 5:21-25 NLT] “And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”

• For husbands: “Love sacrificially. Lead with humility, not dominance.”
• For wives: “Respect and support your husband’s leadership, just as the church follows Christ.”
• “BOTH: Serve one another daily. Marriage is not 50/50—it’s 100/100.”

[Colossians 3:23-24 NLT] “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.”

• “Fact: Couples who pray together regularly have divorce rates lower than 1%.”

[Philippians 2:3-4 NLT] “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

3️⃣ MARRIAGE THRIVES ON A FOUNDATION, NOT FEELING

[Matthew 7:24-27 NLT] “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

• “If you build your marriage on Christ, it will stand firm.”

Illustration: Car Seats

• Driver seat: God (His commands, character, will)
• Passenger seat: Your spouse’s needs
• Back seat: Your emotions (part of the trip, but shouldn’t drive)
• “A strong marriage isn’t found—it’s built” through:
  • Praying together
  • Reading God’s Word together
  • Serving together
  • Worshiping together

APPLICATION

If Engaged or Dating:

• Begin NOW honoring God in your relationship
• Don’t ignore red flags
• Set boundaries before marriage

If Married: Try the ’10-10-10′ practice:

• 10 minutes morning prayer together
• 10 minutes evening sharing high/low points
• 10 minutes before bed expressing appreciation

If Struggling:

• Seek help (mentors, counselors, pastoral care)
• “Satan wants to destroy your marriage… Fight to protect it!”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________