Every healthy Christian needs someone who can do three things for us:

Remind us who we are

Have a hard conversation with us

Love us unconditionally

1. WE NEED SOMEONE TO REMIND US WHO WE ARE

[John 1:40-42]

Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, was one of these men who heard what John said and then followed Jesus. Andrew went to find his brother, Simon, and told him, “We have found the Messiah” (which means “Christ” ). Then Andrew brought Simon to meet Jesus. Looking intently at Simon, Jesus said, “Your name is Simon, son of John—but you will be called Cephas” (which means “Peter” ).

Paul Tripp, “We always live out of some kind of identity, and the identities we assign ourselves influence our responses in life…The longer we struggle with a problem, the more likely we are to define ourselves by that problem (divorce, addiction, depression, ADHD, co-dependency, etc). We come to believe that our problems are who we are.”

[1 John 3:1-3]

See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him. Dear friends, we are already God’s children, but he has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears. But we do know that we will be like him, for we will see him as he really is. And all who have this eager expectation will keep themselves pure, just as he is pure.

[2 Peter 1:8-9]

The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins.

2. WE NEED SOMEONE TO HAVE THE HARD CONVERSATION WITH US

[Matthew 16:22-26]

But Peter took him aside and began to reprimand him for saying such things. “Heaven forbid, Lord,” he said. “This will never happen to you!” Jesus turned to Peter and said, “Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.” Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.  If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?

3. WE NEED SOMEONE TO LOVE US UNCONDITIONALLY

[John 21:15-17, 19]

After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these? ” “Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you.” “Then feed my lambs,” Jesus told him. Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love you.” “Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said. A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep. Jesus said this to let him know by what kind of death he would glorify God. Then Jesus told him, “Follow me.”

[1 Peter 4:8]

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.”

You need to find someone you trust and respect, spiritually, to do this for you and you need to do this for others. THIS is how we break the cycles of sin and dysfunction that sneak back into our lives.