What if God’s plan for your relationship wasn’t the easiest or the most convenient? Would you still follow it? Everyday we make choices on what’s most convenient for us but that doesn’t always mean what’s convenient is best. Anything that is best takes work and effort and our relationships are no exception. This week, we see what the Bible has to say about the work that needs to be done to gain the healthy relationships God wants for us.



What is the Godly way to pursue someone? 

Godly pursuit is intentionally prioritizing someone in your life. 

Relationships are a gift from God. 

Relationships are an opportunity to reflect God.  

But they are not required by God in order to be holy.

[1 Cor. 7:7-8]  7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. (You aren’t going to see Paul on  Tender or Match.com) Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind  or another. 8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to  stay unmarried, just as I am. 

[1 Cor. 7:9-11] 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s  better to marry than to burn with lust. 10 But for those who are married, I have a  command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave  her husband. 11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must  not leave his wife.  

God does not want to see your relationships broken. He wants to see them restored. 

God always sets higher expectations for his followers than the rest of the world.

[1 Cor 7:12-16]  12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command  from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is  willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a believing  woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living  with her, she must not leave him. 14 For the believing wife brings  holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his  marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are  holy. 15 (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let  them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the  other, for God has called you to live in peace.) 16 Don’t you wives realize that  your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands  realize that your wives might be saved because of you? 

You’re either pursuing what’s most convenient or what’s most holy. As a  follower of Jesus, we have chosen to put holiness before convenience. 

Godly pursuit has Biblical boundaries. 

[Ephesians 5:21-23]  21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 For wives,  this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the  head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body,  the church. 

24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your  husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as  Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and  clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to  himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish.  Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife  actually shows love for himself. 

Husbands, God calls you to reflect Christ’s love in your marriage. And the way  you treat your bride should reflect the same kind of love God has for all of us. 

Wives, God calls you to reflect the church’s love, which is the bride of Christ, to  your husband in the same way that God wants the church to love him back.  

[2 Cor 6:14-16] 14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers.How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with  darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How  can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? 16 And what union can there be  between God’s temple and idols? 

Godly pursuit has shared values.  

The things you value most in life should be shared with your spouse.

You might be able to make it work, but you’re committing to a lifetime of  arguments.

[1 Cor. 7:32-35] 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you  to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as  possible. 

If you really want to have a healthy relationship, here’s the key factor: it begins with two people who are more concerned with growing closer to God than  with growing closer to each other.  

The more you pursue God, the better partner you can become. It’s not  automatic, but it’s the start. 

Godly pursuit has healthy rhythms. 

What boundaries do you need to set in your current/ future relationship?

What shared values are most important to you in a significant other?  

What rhythms do you need to make in order to become a better partner? 


Application Questions

  1. What stood out to you from this message and why?
  2. What is one thing God is telling you to START doing because of this message?
  3. What is one thing God is telling you to STOP doing because of this message?
  4. How will this message change how you act at home, work and in the your relationships?