Love is the most powerful emotion that we all experience, but it is also the most complicated. Who we love and who loves us is tightly woven into what we believe about ourselves, our identity, and our worth. And if we’re honest, our experiences with love and our expressions of it probably pale in comparison to the hopes we have for it. This week, we see what God say about love, who we are attracted to, and how we pursue intimacy with them and see how the Bible addresses 3 of the most common myths about love that we believe.



If love is the #1 thing God wants you to know about Himself and, if we’re created in his image, it makes sense it’s one of the most important things about ourselves.

That doesn’t mean we’re good at it or that it’s a healthy part of our lives.


Myth #1: My identity comes from who I’m attracted to


It’s understandable that we would define ourselves through the lens of our most powerful emotion.


Truth: My identity comes from my Creator

We’ve been told things that aren’t biblical:

  • That we are to be true to ourselves
  • That I can’t change who I am
  • That God made me this way, so it’s Okay for me to…


It’s TRUE that GOD made you. He made you on purpose.


[Psalm 139:13-17]

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!”


You’re made by God but flawed by sin.


[Ephesians 2:1-5]

“Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil—the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)”


Our natural desires conflict with the identity God is calling you to live out. Since God made you, he reserves the right to direct you.


What if God made a mistake putting me together this way? 


[Isaiah 29:16]

“How foolish can you be? He is the Potter, and he is certainly greater than you, the clay! Should the created thing say of the one who made it, “He didn’t make me”? Does a jar ever say, “The potter who made me is stupid”?”


Our culture pushes you to Identify by your sexuality. You are more than your sexual attraction.

  • Your sexuality is one thing about you. 
  • It isn’t the main thing about you


Identifying yourself primarily through anything other than Christ, is to make God adjust to you rather than the other way around.


Don’t see yourself as single, married, divorced, gay, straight, or engaged.


You are a Child of God, marked by His Holy Spirit, and called to live as a representation of God’s Kingdom in a broken world.


Myth #2: Your Value comes from Who Loves YOU

You aren’t more/less valuable because of someone else.

You are God’s marvelous workmanship. 


[Ephesians 2:10]

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in CHrist Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”


[1 Corinthians 6:19-20]

“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”


[Jeremiah 42:6]

“Whether we like it or not, we will obey the Lord our God to whom we are sending you with our plea. For if we obey him, everything will turn out well for us.”


As a Christian, I don’t determine what pleases God and what is right


Married/Single: Our attractions should never determine our actions.


Myth #3: If it’s right, you’ll love them at first sight


[1 Corinthians 13:4-7]

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”


Truth: Love is the conscious choice to put the needs of the other person above yourself. 


“Perfect Person” does not exist.

  • the idea that you will marry someone with whom you will never fight, argue, doubt yourself again isn’t reality (that’s Disney)
  • Each of us are broken people.
  • The idea that two broken people together makes either one of them perfect is irrational.


My biggest problems are IN me

[Jeremiah 17:9]

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”


The solution to this problem is for you to lean into your relationship with God to become complete.


[Romans 7:22-25a]

“I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord… 


[Psalm 16:11]

You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.”


[Philippians 4:19]

“And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.”

You don’t HAVE to be dating/married/single to be happy, you just need to be right with God.

Get that right first and everything else begins to fall into place.


Application Questions

1. What stood out to you from this message and why?

2. What is one thing God is telling you to START doing because of this message?

3. What is one thing God is telling you to STOP doing because of this message?

4. How will this message change how you act at home, work and in the your relationships?