You probably familiar with the “Golden Rule”. You know, the one that says “do unto others as you want them to do to you?” Chances are you’ve heard someone mention that or maybe you yourself even strive to live out this rule. In essence, we are to leave others alone, keep to ourselves, and provide good to others if we expect to be treated that way. But in the first week of this series, Pastor Sean shows how Jesus took this saying a step further. He tells us to proactively do things for other people that they are not doing for us. Isn’t this something that easier to do for some people than for others? It’s easier to show love to someone who loves us back. Or it’s easier for us to help someone we know will return the favor, but when God asks us to love and serve those who don’t (and probably won’t) love and serve us back, it begins to test the bounds of how far we will really follow Jesus.



Framily are the people you actually live your life with.


In this series, we will be looking at the closest people in our lives and learning how to do it better. This is the sequel to better together.


“BE for others, what you NEED from them”.

Matthew 7:12 – “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and prophets.”

  • Jesus was first to put this in positive form.
  • Jesus moves this from a “leave each other alone” to a “go out of your way to serve”.
  • We’re taught “be true to yourself”, Jesus taught “be true to others”.

1 John 4:7-8

You can’t say that you personally know God if you don’t show this kind of love to others.


What kind of love if John saying we must show? 1 John 4:9

  • John answers by demonstrating the extravagance of God’s love.
  • God proactively sent Jesus to give us what we needed before we needed BEFORE we even knew we were in need.

He defines this love more specifically in 1 John 4:10

  • Not that we love him but he loved us = real love.
  • Real love isn’t conditional on anything in the other person
  • Real love isn’t dependent on the response of the other person.

Then John punches us in the face with 1 John 4:11

  • Since God has given that kind of love to you
  • You ought to give that to others
  • But I don’t want to



  1. Proactively look for ways to show love
  2. Choose to love first
  3. Love others that may not love us
  4. Love others even when it doesn’t make a difference to them


Who gets to choose who’s in my Framily of Love.

  • You may not like this Matthew 5:43-47
  • How do I prove that I’m a child of God?
  • Anyone can love people who love them back
  • Our example isn’t our neighbor, it’s Jesus.
  • Our neighbor is the benefactor of our willingness to follow that example. 1 John 4:12 This is how God is most fully expressed in us.
  • This is what makes our faith the most contagious
  • This is what makes the biggest difference in the lives of others.


John 13:35

  • Love is what you should be known for
  • Difficult people need to be the objects of our affection, not obstacles to our agenda.

Success is measured, in the eyes of God, not by our size but by our love.



Imagine what would happen if we started keeping score

  • not by our bank accounts
  • not by our “likes”
  • but by the way we demonstrated love to people

What is one thing you can do this week to surprise someone with LOVE?