YOU DON’T COMPLETE ME: HOW TO DATE WELL

February 23, 2025

INTRODUCTION

• Dating is complicated because culture has reshaped relationships for the worse

HOW CULTURE MAKES DATING UNHEALTHY

• Purpose: Dating for validation, avoiding loneliness, or just having plans
• Sexuality: Normalizing intimacy without commitment
• Expectations: Conditioned by porn and social media to expect perfection
• Commitment: Dating apps create endless comparison cycles
• Mentoring: Dating has become a solo sport without guidance

ADVICE WE HEAR VS. TRUTH WE NEED

1️⃣ “FOLLOW YOUR HEART” ❌

[Jer 17:9 NLT] “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”

• Feelings change over time
• “I just fell out of love”
• Attraction ≠ Compatibility
• Desire clouds judgment

“GUARD YOUR HEART” ✅

[Pr 4:23 NLT] “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

• Don’t let emotions make your decisions
• Consider: Would you want your kids to become like them?
• Will they draw you closer to God or push you away?

2️⃣ “FIND SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOU HAPPY” ❌

• Dating for fun instead of future leads to trouble
• Chemistry without clarity is dangerous

“FIND SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOU HOLY” ✅

[2Ti 2:22 NLT] “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.”

• “The goal of dating should be clarity, not just chemistry”
• “Only date someone you’d marry”
• “The moment you realize you couldn’t marry this person, quit wasting their time and yours”
• “Dating isn’t about endlessly testing people – it’s about finding someone running in the same direction as you”

3️⃣ “IF WE LOVE EACH OTHER, WE CAN ACT MARRIED” ❌

“IF WE LOVE EACH OTHER, WE WILL HONOR UNTIL MARRIED” ✅

[1Thes 4:3-5 NLT] “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor – not in lustful passion, like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.”

• “We’ve been taught that if you love someone you need to prove it sexually”
• “Scripture teaches that if you love someone, prove it by honoring them”
• “How you date will shape how you marry”

3 KEYS TO HEALTHY DATING

1️⃣ BECOME A PERSON WORTH MARRYING

[1Ti 4:12 NLT] “Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, and the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.”

• “Instead of obsessing over finding the right person, focus on becoming the right person”
• “If you can’t be content single, you won’t be content in a relationship”
• “You’re looking to get from a relationship something you can only find in God”

2️⃣ SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES AND EXPECTATIONS

[Pr 22:3 NLT] “A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.”

• “Boundaries are less about restriction than they are for protection”
• “No one ever planned to ruin their relationship, they just didn’t plan NOT to!”

Set boundaries in three areas:

• Sexually: Don’t do anything you’d be afraid to tell their future spouse about
• Emotionally: They don’t get full access to your heart until marriage
• Spiritually: If they’re not walking toward God, walk away

3️⃣ BUILD ON THE RIGHT FOUNDATION

[2Cor 6:14-15 NLT] “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?”

[Amos 3:3 NLT] “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”

• “A relationship isn’t just about chemistry—it’s about alignment”
• “If you aren’t walking in the same direction now, marriage won’t magically fix that”

If dating someone not following Jesus:

1. You’ll compromise your pace
2. You’ll constantly try to drag them along

APPLICATION

[Ps 37:4 NLT] “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.”

• Focus on finding delight in God first
• “If God hasn’t brought that person into your life yet, maybe He’s still shaping you—or them—for something greater”
• “Before you pray ‘God bring me the right person,’ pray ‘God make me the right person'”
• “When you see someone running in the same direction at the same speed, you won’t have to chase them down. You’ll just realize one day – you’ve already been running side by side. That’s the relationship worth pursuing.”

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