Have you ever noticed you do things like your Mom or Dad? Or maybe you have Grandpa’s sense of humor or Grandma’s wit? In every family, patterns are passed down, some are good….some are not so good. But when these negative patterns wreak havoc on our lives, we are left to wonder, “Am I doomed to repeat them?” In this video, Sean Sears talks about why we struggle with these negative cycles, how we can choose to be the one to stop them, how God can begin a process of healing in our lives, and how we can find the strength to begin writing a new story with our lives.

MESSAGE NOTES

Are you the way you are because of nature or nurture, genetics or environment? 

“Can I change the way I am?”, and to what degree?

 

  • Do I have any say in who I am and what I do or am I just the product of my environment doomed to repeat the mistakes and sins of my fathers in a never ending cycle of dysfunction?

 

  1. We are born into a Cycle of Dysfunction

 

[Genesis 3:1-8]

1 The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the LORD God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” 2 “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. 3 “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’” 4 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. 5 “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” 6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. 8 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the LORD God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the LORD God among the trees.

 

[Romans 5:12]

12 When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.

 

 

[Genesis 4:1-5]

1 Now Adam had sexual relations with his wife, Eve, and she became pregnant. When she gave birth to Cain, she said, “With the LORD ’s help, I have produced a man!” 2 Later she gave birth to his brother and named him Abel. When they grew up, Abel became a shepherd, while Cain cultivated the ground. 3 When it was time for the harvest, Cain presented some of his crops as a gift to the LORD. 4 Abel also brought a gift—the best portions of the firstborn lambs from his flock. The LORD accepted Abel and his gift, 5 but he did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry, and he looked dejected.

 

[Genesis 4:6-7]

6 “Why are you so angry?” the LORD asked Cain. “Why do you look so dejected? 7 You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.”

 

Two things to learn:

    • You have sin that wants to control you
    • You are NOT powerless to that sin!
    • You CAN’T be passive with your sin because your sin is NOT passive with you!
      • 1 Thes 5:22, Stay away from every kind of evil. 

 

[Genesis 4:8]

8 One day Cain suggested to his brother, “Let’s go out into the fields.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother, Abel, and killed him. 9 Afterward the LORD asked Cain, “Where is your brother? Where is Abel?” “I don’t know,” Cain responded. “Am I my brother’s guardian?”

 

 

[Genesis 4:10-14]

10 But the LORD said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground! 11 Now you are cursed and banished from the ground, which has swallowed your brother’s blood. 12 No longer will the ground yield good crops for you, no matter how hard you work! From now on you will be a homeless wanderer on the earth.” 13 Cain replied to the LORD, “My punishment is too great for me to bear! 14 You have banished me from the land and from your presence; you have made me a homeless wanderer. Anyone who finds me will kill me!”

 

James Boice, “One of the clearest marks of sin is our almost innate desire to excuse ourselves and complain if we are judged in any way.”

 

 

[Genesis 4:23]

One day Lamech said to his wives, “Adah and Zillah, hear my voice; listen to me, you wives of Lamech. I have killed a man who attacked me, a young man who wounded me.

 

[Exodus 34:7]

7 I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations. I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin. But I do not excuse the guilty. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children and grandchildren; the entire family is affected— even children in the third and fourth generations.”

 

2. We aren’t Doomed by the Cycle of Dysfunction

 

[John 8:34-36]

34 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sends is a slave of sin. 35 A slave is not a permanent member of the family but the sun is part of the family forever. 36 So if the sun sets you free, you are truly free.”

 

 

[Romans 6:16-23]

16 Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. 17 Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. 18 Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living. 19 Because of the weakness of your human nature, I am using the illustration of slavery to help you understand all this. Previously, you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy. 20 When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right. 21 And what was the result? You are now ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. 22 But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

[Romans 6:6-7, 11]

6 We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. 7 For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin… 10 When he died, he died wants to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourself to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus.

 

[Ephesians 4:21-24]

21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

  • There is no cycle of sin in your family tree that God cannot uproot
  • There is addiction too strong that God cannot free you from

 

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Application Questions

  1. What stood out to you from this message and why?
  2. What is one thing God is telling you to START doing because of this message?
  3. What is one thing God is telling you to STOP doing because of this message?
  4. How will this message change how you act at home, at work, and in your relationships?